Are you A Solider or Parent First?

The Oath of Enlistment

“I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

That is the oath of enlistment that I and every other service member of the Armed forces has taken since 1789. That oath is serious and not to be taken lightly.  that is the same oath that Spc Alexis Hutchinson took when she enlisted in Army.

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Here’s her story.  Spc Hutchinson is a single mother about to be deployed to  Afghanistan.  Upon orders of deployment she sent her child to stay with her mother, but her mother became overwhelmed with it all since she was already caring for 3 other relatives with health problems, thus sending the child back.  Where is the father you ask? Not in the picture.  What is she left to do?  She has orders to deploy, her commanders allegedly said that she would leave anyway and place her child in protective services (which would/should not happen. They have people in place for just these types of situations).  No mother would abandon their child regardless of orders or not. Right?

Here’s my issue.  I know first hand that when those orders of deployment came across my desk I was scared and nervous.  I was thinking of all kinds of ways to get out of it, but I also remembered that oath of enlistment that I pledged and knew that I had a job to do. No matter what.

Now, as I was saying, there are programs and people in place for these types of situations.  You surely don’t believe that she was the first single parent about to be deployed without someone available to care for the child now do you? when you are given your orders of deployment you are also given a packet of paperwork to complete.  In that packet is a contingency plan for your children as to who gets them while you are gone and who is a back up plan in case the first option doesn’t work out.  She did complete this form but neither the first nor the second option worked out.  If at that point she didn’t have a suitable person then she would not deploy or would deploy once she found someone.  I assure you, if she told someone that she didn’t have adequate care for her child as a single parent she would not have deployed.  Bottom line. Period.

There are some definite holes missing in this story, she supposedly told her commander that she needed more time to find an alternate caregiver since her mother couldn’t take on the job and the father is not in the picture but she was told that she would deploy on time as scheduled.  That is not right and is not an option.  If a soldier is single and needs more time there are rules that dictate that he/she be able to delay deployment, not forever but enough time for her to find a replacement.  If I’ve learned anything from my military experience it is that if you don’t know the answer or aren’t sure of the answer given, ask someone else.  For her to not show up for duty is unacceptable.  I was talking on facebook about this and a friend of mine said that if you don’t have a babysitter then you wouldn’t go into work right? I agree but the military and civilian jobs are different, and if you didn’t have a babysitter for one shift of your civilian job then they could get someone to cover but if you say I can’t work for the next 12 months then you wouldn’t have a job.  that’s essentially what she did.  She said I can’t go on this mission because I don’t have a babysitter, not I can’t come into work today.  One day and one year are totally different.  The right thing for her to have done was to talk to more than just her commanding officer, use that chain of command, and still show up for the deployment with child in tow.  Now she is still separated from her child while she sits in jail facing possible criminal AWOL ( absent without Leave) charges.  Her child was placed with a daycare provider on base.

All that to say that as military members and even civilians we must think before we act.  Our actions not only affect us but our children as well.  We have to make the family unit stronger, if the father was in the picture then none of this would have happened. I understand that we are human and that we don’t always get along with one another but I don’t have to get along with you to take care of my child.  This whole issue could have been avoided if he was taking care of his business and in that child’s life.  There are too many single mothers (and fathers) out here bearing the brunt of caring for a child alone.  It’s not right and the main person that suffers is that child.

What say you about this situation?

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