“God forgives, I don’t.” Wow. That’s a pretty strong statement, but to me there is some truth to it. I am the first to admit that I hold  grudges. I’m still mad at Eric Peterson for punching me in the 3rd grade. I will take a dispute to the grave. We may sort of heal but I will never forget or forgive.

This is a burden that I deal with. I have this belief that if you do me wrong once than you will do it again so I need to have a war chest of sorts at the ready. This includes holding grudges and never forgetting what you did.  Believe me, you may have forgotten and moved on but in the back of my mind I’m plotting my next move.

This is not a healthy way of living but it is a way that I can weed out who and what is in my life. I’m quick to cut people off. If you offend me. Done. You disrespect me. Done. Say something that I feel is crazy or foolish. Done. Now there are times when I overlook this but that is very rare and usually involves an intercession by someone that I respect.

Should I forgive people for their indescretions? Probably. Will I do this? Probably not. If you want forgiveness than seek it from God not me. I can’t help you.  Now this is not to say that people should pander to my feelings in order to remain friends, but just that I will not pander to their feelings in order to remain friends.