what i’m not gon’ do in 2012
this year, i am choosing not to make any resolutions. instead, i am going to talk about what i’m not gon’ do in the new year.
1. apologize for who i am and for the choices i make: i tend to be a people pleaser. choosing to apologize for things that aren’t my fault, or making choices based on the perceptions of others. f that. i have to live my life, as i see fit, because it is only mine. its time for me to embrace my beauty, my personality, my size, my hair, my mind, my silliness, my thoughtfulness, my introverted-ness, my talents, my passions, my desires and fling all of that into the faces of anyone who crosses my path. i am not going to stifle my light anymore. no more apologies.
2. work out: i am not going to beat myself up when i don’t have to work out. in the past i would try to do this regularly, but between my crazy asthma problems, my work schedule and my writing commitments, i’ll be lucky to have time for a meal, much less a work out. if i work out, 10 points for me. if i don’t, the world will continue to spin on its axis.
3. be afraid of being afraid: to me, nervousness, butterflies, fear are all signs that we are living. we aren’t settling for monotony or for the average. we are challenging ourselves and aspiring for something greater than we have right now. so i choose to embrace my fears. face them and look them dead in the eye. if i stumble and fall, i will accept the lesson and keep moving. the passing of my dear friend reminded me of important it is to LIVE, to challenge yourself, to push yourself and LIVE. so no. i am not going to dwell on the fear. i will take it as a good sign that i am doing the right thing, and if nothing else, i will come out stronger on the other side.
4. be passive aggressive: i am learning to use and apply the words yes and no to my life and allowing it to be just that. avoiding things does not do anyone any good. i choose to just say no, or yes, and let that be that. it is very liberating to just be honest about how you feel, while respecting the feelings of others. i am a huge fan of timing, but at the end of the day, what needs to be said, needs to be said and that is all there is to it.
5. pressure myself: i am young. i have accomplished a lot. i am a dreamer who will never stop searching for satisfaction. if there comes a time, when i am lucky enough to be able to lay in bed for an entire week, alternating my time between reading, eating and sleeping, i will choose to appreciate the preciousness of those moments, rather than beating myself up for not using that free time to write and create. i am going to continue to carve out my place in this world and celebrate the victories while learning from the mistakes. there is no need to pressure myself. no need to feel badly for taking time away from the world to just breathe.
6. stop writing. i think that one is pretty self explanatory.
im excited about this new year. about the life changes i am working to put into place. this such an exciting time and i am choosing to enjoy these next steps. i am choosing to live high and live mighty.
Happy New Year everyone! Let’s go get it.
Brandelyn N. Castine
Writer
Website: www.beencee.com…
Twitter: @BeeNCeedotcom
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