Family is really important to me. as a father, I will never understand how a man can knowingly abandon his child over some bullshit that he’s going though with the mother. Honestly, to me that is just a poor excuse that does not fly with me. Regardless of your relationship with the mother that child should be first priority. That baby did not ask to be here. If that person was good enough for you to lie down with then you should help take care of the baby you helped make. It’s not always about you.
That goes for the ladies as well. You knew he wasn’t about anything when you met him so why even put yourself and now this child in that type of situation in the first place? Now you have to deal with a poor excuse for a man, take care of this child on your own and explain to them why their dad isn’t around. Don’t use your child as ransom to extort things from the father. That baby is a child not a pawn in your little game.
When you are explaining this to them don’t go the whole ‘all men ain’t shit’ route. that card has been played to death and only scars children. they grow up to believe that this is true and further perpetuates the stereotype. We all know that this is not the case. Yes, there are horrible and poor excuses for men out there but to say that all men are this way just because of your poor choices and decision making is just plain wrong. Your attraction to these individuals has led you to this stereotypical view. You don’t know all men so to say that they all are bad is incorrect and irresponsible. Since you chose these men that ‘ain’t shit’ what does that say about you?
Watch what you say around children. They are like little sponges and absorb everything that we say both good and bad. when you feed something negativity then that is what it will become. On the other hand if you feed something positivity then that his what it will become. Lets break the vicious cycle of verbally bashing people because they are not what we want them to be. I’m pretty sure that they way that they are acting now is the same way that they were acting when you met them. A zebra can’t change his stripes, just doesn’t work that way.
Some people do change but the majority of times that is not the case. What you have is what you started with you may have just been too blinded by something to notice. If he has 4 kids by three different baby mamas and doesn’t care for any of them what makes you think he will take care of yours? C’mon Son.
Sometimes the relationship just doesn’t work out. It’s okay. Sometimes certain people are just not meant to be together. When a child is involved it is important that you remain a strong unit for that child. If the relationship didn’t work then fine move on but don’t forget about that innocent child. Put all the pettiness of the new girl/boyfriend or the reasoning behind the failed relationship to the side and focus on raising that child. Too often people think that just because the relationship is over then they no longer have to take care of and help raise their child or the partner does not let them around the child because of the ending of a relationship. That is idiotic. If someone wants to be around and help take care of their child past their financial responsibilities then it should be welcomed with open arms. No one should have to beg to see their own child.
Just my thoughts
Sincere
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