“Explore the Passion in your possibilities…” Ledisi
Thoughts during Intermission at Alvin Ailey
3.12.10
For just a moment, I literally forgot who I was. I was so busy trying to dig myself out from underneath my worries, my fears, my concerns, my questions, my doubts that I had unknowingly turned my head away from the light, from the promises. I turned my head away from the brightness of the future that God told me was already mine.
I am a dreamer. I have dreams that are unspeakable because my mouth cannot hold the fullness of the words to describe what my heart, mind and spirit see so clearly. God made me special. I have to remind myself of that sometimes because there is always something or someone who probably sees that light and does everything in their power to try to snatch it from you. I have accomplished a lot of things. Milestones that lead me to the big things that people want to celebrate, but my dreams keep me humble. I have started carving out a trail that is going to lead to even greater heights and it is going to take a lot of work to make that happen. I’m ready for it.
I had to remember to breathe and to know and understand that absolutely no matter what, God is in control. I am at peace in my life, even though the water is choppy and the waves are high. It is hard being an adult sometimes and no it is not always fun. Actually fun is few and far between, but even with all of the things, with my job and my relationships that are threatening to steal my joy, I realize that my faith is so much bigger than that. God gave me a promise. He is here with me tonight as I am watching Alvin Ailey and He is whispering to me, and reminding me of who He is and who I am in Him. I know God will teach me how to walk on this choppy water, if He decides that it is not time to calm the storm because I still have some things to learn.
Alvin Ailey is beautiful. I had to remember that I am an artist. That I am sensitive, that its okay to cry and feel and be scared or confused, or angry, or hurt, all of that is ok. I am ok. And I am a dreamer.
An artist.
A poet.
A painter.
A singer.
A lover.
A hugger.
A friend.
A sister.
And I have a lot to offer, not only the world, but myself.
Brandelyn. You are special. Its okay to say that, and to remember that and to know that and its important to remember that God allows you to go through trials because He is trying to mature you and grow you up in Him. He Loves you, so much. And he wants nothing but the absolute best for you. Do not worry about your life, where you will eat, where you will sleep, for who worrying about their lives added a single life to their day? The plan is already set. His will is already in motion. There is nothing anyone can say or do that can change that. You are going to be ok. Just trust God and He will guide your footsteps. Write. Create. Dream. Breathe. Be exactly who God called you to be. Because you are special and loved.
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